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What is actual self-care?

That term gets brandished around a lot.

Just like anything, perception can either make it work for us, or it can be a detriment.

Heh? 🤨

how can self-care be a detriment?

Well, it can be if it’s not authentically practiced...A.K.A actions/choices that contribute to the momentum of an outcome we don’t want.

Binge eating
consistent consumption of processed foods
Attaching happiness to that hyper palatability.
Late nights.
Skipping workouts to curl on the sofa with a pizza and bottle of wine.
excessive drinking…

You get the point.

The things that people say ‘oooh you have to enjoy life from’…

5 years later, there’s a desire to transform because of excessive weight gain, lethargy, low self-esteem, self-consciousness in clothes, negative self-talk…they are the obvious ones.

There are many more hidden set backs to miss interpreted focus on self-care by the way (that will be the next blog).

So, is feeding short term happiness from emotional decision making actually decent self-care?

Or is the term ‘self-care’ used as smoke and mirrors to create justification not to practice a level of discipline that truly makes us happy, healthy, fit, and confident?

Of course it is.

Let’s go one deeper.

For you, is it down to knowledge, a fear, a limiting belief, masking a trauma, dealing with stress, or an ego struggle?

(“I know what to do, I just need to do it”… does a commercial ‘diet’ 🤨)

That’s 👆🏻 the breakthrough.

To tame it we have to name it.

My biggest hold back was lack of knowledge, goal making from hate of my body, excuses, blaming, and fear of the false illusion of failure.

What is it for you?

Right then, true self-care.

In a nutshell it comes down to us, and the value we hold for ourselves.

A.K.A, our personal relationship.

Do you hold yourself in high enough regard to take care of your mental, physical, habitual, and emotional wellbeing?

GENUINLY?

Not to say yes because it sounds good, or for self-preservation (that’s the ego part I mentioned earlier).

Successful self-care is built on your personal relationship with yourself, and relationships with multiple chunks (systems) that represent many underlying habits that make our 24/7.

It’s about cultivating those relationships with patience, feedback, consistency, urgency, and patience.

Here we go:

Our relationship with exercise (skipping appointments with yourself isn’t self-care).
Our relationship with nourishing our body (doing a diet is the opposite of self-care).
Our relationship with effective sleep, rest, and recovery (taking a holiday because of burnout isn’t an effective self-care strategy).
Our relationship with hydration (smashing energy drinks and 12 cups of coffee a day isn’t good hydration).
Our relationship with stress reduction (smoking, drinking, eating junk etc doesn’t reduce stress, it actually creates more inflammation in the body).
Our relationship wit self-talk
Our relationship with goal setting.
Our relationship with work/personal life balance.
Our relationship with planning/scheduling.
Our relationship with the spouse.
Our relationship with family and friends.
Our relationship with colleagues and strangely, our relationship with people that don’t add value to our lives, that still requires management.
Our relationship with finances.
Our relationship with overcoming setbacks.
Our relationship with our body image.
Our relationship with progress measurement tracking.
Most important of all, it’s that relationship with our self-credibility and value system

Yep, our self-care project is exactly that:

A project.

One that requires us to emerse ourselves into the process of growth.

If you read this, and feel overwhelmed, GREAT, that means you are serious about taking on change on a deeper level.

Non coincidently, the above is where our best physical results lay F.Y.I.

Reaching for the physical transformation without learning and practicing the above is as logical as trying to be a millionaire by thinking about buying the lottery ticket.

Sel-care…

What does it represent for you?

How can you utilise it for a healthier, happier life?

how can you use it to transform your mind and your body? (mind first, then the body follows)

How can you use it to leverage everything else in life as a result of that higher standard?

Smash it!

– Coach Paul